Collaborative Insanity
by Tamer Lorika
Summary: A very, very strange fic that was created by all my best friends. Includes Anko, Kakashi, Sarutobi, Orochimaru, Gai, and various INSANE original characters. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

_Yes, this is stupid, yes, this is confusing, no, it isn't my fault. This is what we call "collaborative fanfic." My friends, including my girlfriend Nami-kun (LOOK HER UP) and I all took turns writing bits and pieces of it. This is ALL THEIR FAULT, so don't flame. It makes no sense at all. _

_I'll try my best to make this a little bit easier for you. Sarutobi, our third hokage, is the host of the party._

_Dark is a wolf-demon with dark hair and purple eyes. _

_Nami is the foster daughter of Anko and Kakashi. Only Anko, of course, knows this; Kakashi seems to think Nami is his biological daughter how he managed not to notice that Anko was never pregnant is beyond me. She has silver hair, both the sharingan and the byakugan, and she's half tiger demon. Like her foster mother, she has a … past… with Orochimaru. _

_Rohne is the oldest, at 23 (Dark is 20, Nami is 18) She has a major drinking problem and is half wolf demon. _

_Miyoko is 13 and is also tied to wolves. She used to be a temple guardian._

_Sainyea is 14, and is again tied to wolves. Very original, my friends._

_Tamer is 14 and has an otter demon. She's a major space-case, but good with a sword, and very obedient. Oh, and Nami is Tamer's sensei. Ok? Confused still? Thought so._

_I _know_ you are still confused. Pick a fight with Nami-kun, she's got an account of that name on here, or I suppose that you can write a review with your question, and I'll do my best to answer… not that I understand any of this, either._

_Tamer_

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* * *

**

"Welcome, welcome!" the third hokage yelled jovially. Dark stared back, giving him an odd look.

"Erm…thanks?" the black-haired young man said, looking uncomfortably around the empty room.

"Welcome to the party!" Sarutobi said again.

"Whatever." Dark contented himself with raiding the snack table.

"Hey, Sarutobi, where's the dangos?" he asked.

"Don't you _dare_ touch those dangos!" cried Nami, appearing in the room with a puff of smoke. The silver-haired jonin immediately stalked over to Dark, light purple eyes flashing. "Get the hell away from those dangos!" she yelled. Dark picked up a stick of the warm, sweet dumplings and chewed one off.

"Make me," he said, mouth full of dango.

"You're gonna wish you never said that," she said angrily. She lunged at him, and he sidestepped into a kick, managing to block it only at the last second.

"You're fast. I'll have to get serious."

"Heh. Good."

They ran toward each other, only to be stopped by another jonin clad in brown.

"Hey! Nami, you said you'd behave," the woman said scornfully

"Sorry. I was hungry," Nami mumbled. She looked away, shame-faced.

The woman in front of them was fairly tall, with somewhat black hair with a purple streak in it. She wore a brown trench coat.

"You must be Mitarashi Anko. Your reputation precedes you," Dark said. "So, that makes _you_ Nami – "

"Uchiha." Nami spat out.

"Uchiha? Uchiha Nami?  
"No, Uchiha Bob," she said sarcastically.

"You little –" He started toward her.

"Dark!" Sarutobi yelled. Dark immediately stopped his attack.

"Dark, eh? Sounds like an annoying name," Nami sneered.

"Well, that's coming from a silver-haired idiot named 'Wave'," Dark retaliated.

"You son of a bitch!" she yelled, lunging again. Anko stepped aside while the two fought.

"Y'know idiot, they actually look good together," she remarked.

Sarutobi sighed happily. "Ah, young amore." He grinned suggestively at Anko. The shinobi stared back, nonplussed.

"Dude. I'm married. Nami's my _daughter_. Besides, you're _way_ too old."

"So that's the Nami I've heard about, eh? She's grown a lot since the academy picture," Sarutobi noted.

"That's the last time you saw her? That was when she was a genin, eight years ago. Now she's eighteen and hot!" Anko laughed. "But she's a _lot_ more aggressive."

"You little…" Dark yelled, punching Nami in the face.

"Shut up, you fucking ass!" Nami kicked him in the stomach. Anko and the Third sweatdropped.

"Yep. A whole lot more aggressive," she said. The Third turned to the door.

"Hey, Lord Hokage!" a woman said.

"Rohne, how are you doing?" he asked.

"Good. Where's the beer?" she asked cheerfully.

"Over by the fighting couple," he said, pointing to Dark and Nami. Dark sucker-punched Nami. Nami, in turn, kicked him.

"Hey!" they both cried in unison. Dark separated himself from her and grabbed another stick of dango. Nami was doing the same. Their hands touched on the plate, Dark's on Nami's. Both proud people pulled their hands back. Dark looked away, while Nami fought to suppress a blush. Both ended up blushing anyway. Nami grabbed a dango stick and sat down on a small chair while Dark grabbed three more and sat down next to her. When he got there, she had already finished hers. He handed her another. Nami took it, and then threw it in the air.

"What the hell is she doing?" Rohne asked. "He just ­­-"

"Shhh. You're ruining it," Anko whispered. The three adults sat there quietly, as if watching a movie, and watched as the teen made a hand-sign.

"Fire-style: Fire stream jutsu," she whispered. She made her right hand into the sign of the tiger and blew gently. A steady stream of fire emerged from her hand and warmed the dango. Dark laughed a little.

Nami quickly caught the dango before it dropped, slid a few dumplings off the skewer, and handed the rest to Dark. Dark smiled graciously, and took his share of the dangos.

Rohne rolled her eyes. "Great. All we need is a sunset and some sappy music, and we have an Indy film. Come on, Sarutobi, I only came for the beer. You said there'd be some.

The Third glared at her irritably. "I'm _working_ here. It's over by those two lovebirds." He went back to making eyes at Anko. She went dutifully back to alternately ignoring and glaring at him.

Rohne stalked over toward the table, but stumbled a few feet away.

"What the fuck?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry…" a girl said.

"Lorika Tamer! Long time, no see," Nami said.

"Oh! Nami-sensei, I didn't know you'd be here." She said.

"Wait… sensei?" Dark asked.

"Yeah. I was somehow 'volunteered' for _their_ team."

"Who were your students?"

"Well, Sho Brand, Lorika Tamer, and my cough little sister cough Mitarashi Kai."

"You adopted two?!" Sarutobi asked Anko in dismay. His chances were getting worse and worse…

"Yeah…" she said nonchalantly.

"But…but…don't you hate Kakashi?"

Anko looked decidedly uncomfortable. "Don't blame me. I was drunk when I signed the papers."

"Both times?"

She nodded guiltily.

Sarutobi smiled, looking oddly like a shark. "Would you like some more sake, Mitarashi-sama?"

"Don't you _dare._ Besides, I'm on a sake diet."

The Third pointed to the glass in her hand. "Then what is that?"

Anko quickly tossed it over her shoulder, wincing at the sound of shattering glass. "What is what?"

"You know, that's the fifth glass tonight. What's the point?"

Anko decided no to honor that remark with a response. She made her way over to the snack table.

"Ooooh! Dangos!" she yelled. She stuffed ten skewers in her mouth. After a few minutes, Anko felt a strange headache coming on. "Augh… what the fuck? I don't feel too good.

"Oh, yeah, I cooked the dangos in sake."

"Sarutobi!"

The door burst open, and a honey-haired girl with flashing turquoise eyes bounded in.

"I'm _here!_ The party can _start_ now!" Sainyea cried. Everyone ignored her except for Tamer.

"Hmm… so you're the new one," she said, emerald eyes bright. The copper-haired girl walked around Sainyea, looking her up and down appraisingly. Sainyea started as the younger girl's eyes met her own.

Tamer just stared, her gaze boring into Sainyea's head. Her turquoise eyes turned violet with concentration as she tried to stare back at Tamer, but her harsh gaze was beginning to eat away at Sainyea's resolve. Suddenly, the girl blinked and smiled, her vision far-off. "You'll do."

Tamer wandered off, and Sainyea stared after her, nonplussed. Then, she leaned over to Nami.

"What's up with _her_?"

When Nami didn't respond, Sainyea looked at her. The silver-haired jonin's gaze was locked with Dark's.

"Naaaamiiii?" asked Sainyea, waving a hand in front of her face.

"What the hell d'you want, baka?" Nami growled, glaring at her.

The blond girl backed off. "Er… nevermind." She was about to go talk to Anko, but Anko had taken that opportunity to punch Sarutobi into a wall. Sainyea sidled nervously over to Rohne's side.

"What a bunch of weirdos," she muttered.

Rohne smiled lopsidedly and spit out an olive pit. "Oh, def mostinetly… hehe! I mean, most definitely. Say, would you like some beer?"

Sainyea groaned and sank to the floor. "_Why_ did I come, again?" she asked, taking a glass.

"Hey, Nami-sensei?" Tamer asked.

"What?!" she asked, irritated now.

"Do you or Dark want anything to drink?"

"I'm fine," Nami answered.

"A bottle of sake, please," Dark said. Tamer nodded and walked off.

When she was gone, Nami turned toward Dark.

"Aren't you underage?"

"By a year," he answered. Nami gave a small laugh.

"But what's with the whole bottle?" she asked, slightly confused.

"I wanted some in case you wanted some," he said, mock-seductively. She laughed and punched him in the arm.

"Pervert," she said. Tamer came back with the bottle and two glasses. "Thanks, Tamer."

Tamer nodded happily, then walked away again.

"The girl looks well trained," Dark noted, pouring himself a glass of sake.

"Yeah, well, it took me forever to get her to have a three sentence conversation with me," she said. "But, she has gotten stronger. She looks taller."

"Sake?" Dark offered.

"Nah, I'm good," she answered.

"Why not? Are you like her?" he asked, pointing at Anko. She was still hitting the Third.

"No. I'm not thirsty," she answered.

Dark took a gulp of sake. "Yum," he said, licking his lips suggestively. Nami smiled.

"Hey! You com and ask me before you even think about it!" Anko yelled. Nami just sighed.

"I need to have some sadistic fun. I'll be back, Dark. Coming, Mom?" she asked.

"No. I'm good," she said, munching on ramen, the Third beaten to a pulp.

"Alright," Nami conceded, walking out the door. After a few minutes, she was back.

"That was quick," Dark muttered. "I usually take more time, y'know, to enjoy it."

"Yeah, but I got bored. I guess its no fun this late at night," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Other things are fun," he hinted. He poured himself another glass.

"How much have you had?"

"This makes my fourth glass," Dark answered.

"Nami-kun!" a girl said loudly. Nami turned around and was face to face with a girl with long brown hair.

"Miyoko-chan!" she said happily. Miyoko hugged Nami hard.

"It's been forever, Nami!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, I know. Are you still a shrine maiden?"

"Nah. I got a job. Accountant or something stupid like that.

"Nice." Nami turned. "Miyoko, this is Dark," she said.

"Hi." Miyoko said cheerfully. Dark waved. Nami walked across the room.

"This is Rohne." Miyoko nodded to her. Rohne nodded back, rather unsteadily. "And, of course, the Hokage, and my mom, Anko."

"Hi," Miyoko said. Anko nodded. The Hokage grunted. "And I've already met Sainyea."

"That's good. Well, help yourself. I'm gonna go sit," she said, sitting next to Dark. Dark put his arm around her and smiled.

"A friend?"

"Yep. My first and only one," she said, relaxed.

Dark grinned. "I don't see how _anyone_ could not be friends with someone as beautiful and interesting as you."

Nami smiled back at him, eyes dancing. "Dark, are you drunk?"

"Does it matter?"

Nami looked down. "I-I don't know. I've never believed in love at first sight…"

Dark just looked at her, his dark purple eyes boring into her pupil-less violet ones.

"…Until now," said Dark.

Nami stared back, too stunned to speak. Then she found her voice, "W-what do you mean?"

"Heh, are you that dense?" he asked. Nami sighed.

"Honestly, I don't – mmm…" She didn't finish her sentence. Dark had pressed his lips into hers.

The thing that saved the young man from having his head ripped off at first was Nami's blank surprise. Even after the surprise wore off, she was too preoccupied with remembering how to breathe.

When Nami found she could speak again, she remarked. "So…this is what love is."

Dark grinned, leaning in close. "You like it?"

"Oh, yeah." She covered the remaining distance and kissed him deeply.

Rohne, who had been watching with a mixture of disgust and fascination, went back to her beer, consumed by silent laughter. She patted Sainyea on the head; the girl was sitting on the ground, face in hands, moaning.

"You have to get used to it, hanging out with Nami and her family." Rohne rolled her eyes. "If it's not one, it's the other, and it's usually at least two at the same time."

"Aww," said Anko sarcastically. "Rohne was right. It _is _like a movie. But it needs better actors." She munched on a handful of popcorn. Miyoko looked at her questioningly.

"Where'd you get the popcorn?"

"Don't worry about it."

The Hokage groaned and looked up. "Popcorn?"

Anko punched him in the face. "Oh, go back to sleep."

Out of the corner of Miyoko's eye, she saw the oddest sight: A steaming fresh bag of popcorn was floating right near her face.

"Here, Miyoko-chan." Tamer said quietly.

Miyoko was nonplussed. "Er…thanks…?" Um… why are you invisible?

"Am I? Oh, sorry," she apologized.

"Don't apologize. I just wanted to know," Miyoko said.

"Special ability," Tamer explained simply.

"Oh. Okay." Tamer didn't drop her jutsu, but Miyoko could tell she had wandered away. She tried the popcorn. It was good.

Suddenly, a loud crash and a splintering of glass rent the (relative) calm of the room, accompanied by a raucous singing.

"Walla walla WIMBO, bing bang BIMBO

Wullya Wullya Wullya WHOOP!!!"

As one, six heads swiveled to find out what was causing the din. Sainyea and Rohne were sprawled on the floor, glasses of beer in their hands and empty bottles scattered about. They were well and truly hammered.

"Wow. I didn't know Sainyea had it in her to get plastered," Anko remarked. Nami just shrugged and stood up, only to be pulled back down.

"Hey, where ya goin'?" Dark asked.

"I'm hot, I'm going outside," Nami explained. Dark suddenly grew serious

"I'm coming with you."

"Why? I'm a big girl; I can handle myself."

"Something's wrong. I'm coming with you," Dark insisted.

Anko's face grew grave. "Dark, let her go. I'll go with her." Dark nodded. "Come on, Nami."

The teen obeyed and went outside.

"What's with the mood swing?" Miyoko asked. Tamer just shrugged. Dark sulked over to the door and listened.

"Nami, what's going on with Driger?" Anko asked

"Ugh. He's hungry," Nami answered.

"Well, feed him

"I can't. Not enough chakra."

"You used up your reserves AGAIN?!"

"Waah! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

"Here, take some of mine."

"He won't take it." Nami slumped against the door-frame, the demon eating her chakra. Inside, Dark, who had been watching the exchange, stiffened.

Nami noticed out of the corner of her eye. "Damn it, I'd better go back in there… Dark's getting worried." She tried to turn and rejoin the party, but as she did, her legs gave way and she fell to her knees. Dark was instantly at her side.

"'Can handle myself' my ass! Look at you!" he scolded her. He looked at Anko "I can take her, trust me." Feeling safe, Anko rejoined the celebration.

"How long were you listening?" Nami asked, her breath ragged.

"The whole time," he replied softly. When she tried to stand, he firmly held her down. "Don't try to stand, Nami. You'll only exhaust what little chakra you have left.

"Why are you so worried?" she asked, feeling uncomfortable. He pulled her close to himself.

"Because. I'm in love with you, Nami," he said.

"No. You're drunk. No one could love someone like me."

"Why? Because Driger lives inside of you? Because you became one with him, and now you're a half-demon?" Dark asked.

Her eyes opened wide in astonishment. "How did you know?"

He gave a small laugh, picked her up, and leapt up on the roof. He set her down, then sat next to her.

"Lie on your back," he ordered.

"Why should I?"

"I'm giving you some of my chakra."

"But why on my back?"

"So you can look at the stars, 'cause this is gonna hurt."

"Driger's going to reject it."

"Trust me, okay?" Nami sighed heavily, but lay down. "Now, tell me where your seal is, Nami," he said, gently brushing her cheek with his fingers.

"The seal? Left side of my neck," she said. She looked into his eyes, mesmerized. He gave her a smile.

"Thanks. Now, try to relax," he said. She looked at the stars as he moved the collar of her shirt to reveal her neck. "Does it have two tamoe?"

"Yep, that's it," she answered. Satisfied by the answer, he bent down and bit her neck a little. When she didn't say anything, he chomped down on it. All at once, she felt his chakra inside of her body. On a whim, she activated her byakugan and saw his ink-black chakra melding with her own dark purple chakra.

"Dark, are you a demon? Is that why you had pity for me, why you loved me?"

"Yes, I am a demon, but I didn't fall in love of you out of pity."

"Out of- "

"And not because we're kindred spirits either."

"Then why?" Nami asked. Dark leaned down and kissed her. When he leaned back, she stared at him.

"I don't know. I just did," he said. Nami laughed.

"You dick-head," she said. Dark laughed.

"How do you feel?"

"Better, thanks." Dark lay down next to her. "Stars. They're beautiful." Nami remarked.

"So are you."

"You're so corny, Dark."  
The harsh sounds of Rohne's drunken yelling drifted up to them. "Iruka! My favorite buddy!"

"Oh, no," Dark groaned, "Rohne's going to get out of hand, turn into a wolf, and tear the place apart. I hate it when she's drunk." Dark clapped a hand to his head.

"Kakashi, you're here, my bestessisist body!" Rohne called from inside.

"What the…? Body?"

"Sorry, I choked on spit. I'm my buuddyy!"

"Oh, no, my dad!" exclaimed Nami, jumping down from the roof and sprinting inside. Dark followed.

* * *

Fun? Odd? Need clarification? Review and ask me, or Nami-kun. No flaming, the confusion is not all my fault. 


	2. Chapter 2

Alright, more insanity, coming your way! Enjoy! Like I said, just tell me or Nami-kun if you are confused, and we'll try to help.

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Rohne was leaning on Iruka and laughing girlishly. "And thish…" she said, slurring her words, "Is my fifty-eighth beer today and I feel fiiine." She hiccupped loudly.

"I think you've had enough beer for now, Rohne." Iruka tried to stay calm, but he was beginning to get nervous around the drunken woman.

"Hm…yes, I am getting a bit full," she said, leaning on him.

Kakashi turned in time to see Nami walking in with Dark behind her.

"Dark?! What the hell are you doing with my daughter?!" Kakashi yelled furiously.

"Dad, relax, nothing hap-"

"Where the hell did you take her? What did you do?"

"Kakashi, calm down," Anko said. "He respects her, don't worry."

"I don't like him. Nami, come here."

"No, Dad, I'm fi-"

"Now," he said in a calm fury. Nami grunted, but obeyed. Kakashi continued. "Dark, I don't want you coming near my daughter. Got it?"

"But, Dad-"

"Stay away from him," he said.

"Nami…" Dark started.

"Don't talk to her," Kakashi ordered.

"Kakashi!" Anko argued. "Leave them to me."

"No! I won't have my daughter associating herself with a demon!" Nami's face fell in devastation. Anko punched Kakashi in the face.

"I-I can't t-talk to him because he's a d-de-demon?" Nami stuttered.

"Nami…" Anko said. She knelt down to her daughter and embraced her.

"Then does that mean he h-hates me, too?"

Dark knelt down on the other side of Nami. "I'm not going anywhere, Nami. No matter what he says," he reassured her. He kissed her lips softly.

"I said to stay away from her, demon!" Kakashi yelled, advancing toward him.

"I'm a demon, Dad!" Nami yelled. Kakashi stopped in his tracks. "Yes, I'm a half-demon. Does that mean that you hate me, too?"

Kakashi stood still with shock.

"Oh, this is going to get interesting, hic," said Rhone, avoiding Anko's glare. "Anywaysh, Kakashi," she continued, slurring her words a bit, "You like Naruto, hic, and we aaaalll know about him sho, hic, whatsh the differenshe? Ash the pack ushed to shay, 'no matter what you look like or what you are, you're shtill part of the pack'. And cows dance."

"Rohne, you made no sense at all."

"At least I'm trying to help!" she yelled, for a moment not sounding drunk at all. "No one ever appreciates what I try to do!"

"Well, your 'help' isn't working, doofis!" exclaimed Dark.

Kakashi glared at Nami and Dark. "I don't want you around my daughter, demon. Who knows what you'll do. My daughter might be half-demon, but I love her. She wasn't born as a full-demon like you."

"Dad-!"

"No, its alright, Nami. I'll go, before you get punished," Dark said as he turned and glared at Kakashi with flashing dark-purple eyes.

Tamer sighed. "Why is everybody fighting?" she questioned Miyoko. "I think it has _something_ to do with demons. I'm a demon… does that mean I have to leave, too? Wha-"

"I'm HERE!" shouted Gai, bursting through the door. "Nami, the bea-"

"Dark, wait for me!" she yelled, running out the door in fear.

"Hey, get back here!" Kakashi cried, following.

"Kakashi," Anko grunted angrily.

Everyone looked at one another, then at Gai.

"Party's over," Sarutobi announced.

"Hey, who wants to play pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey?" Rohne suggested, glaring evilly at Gai.

Amid the pandemonium that ensued, Miyoko looked sideways at Tamer. "You're a demon? What animal?"

"Otter."

Miyoko raised an incredulous eyebrow. "Uh-huh. And _what_ damage can an otter do?"

"Have you ever seen an otter with a katana?"

"Erm… no?"

If she didn't know any better, Miyoko could swear that Tamer was smirking.

Suddenly, Dark returned to the party.

"Dark, are you okay?" questioned Tamer. "Your eyes used to be purple; now they're goldish-yellow."

"I'm fine. Where's Nami?" he asked shortly.

"She went out with you…" Tamer reminded, in a voice she used for the young or terminally stupid.

"Oh, I lost her in the, uh – in the darkness."

"She has silver hair; its kind of hard to miss."

Dark came running him, chased by Kakashi, who was followed by Nami.

"What the hell? Two Darks?" Nami asked. "That sant..."

"Dark?" Tamer asked.

"Yes?" They unisoned.

"Well, we can forget that idea," she said muttered. While everyone was distracted looking at Tamer, one Dark turned and bit the other on the neck.

"No!" Nami yelled. She caught Dark as he fell. "Its you…" she trailed off. She held Dark's hand and looked into the imposter's eyes. "Dad…" Anko and Kakashi moved in front of them. Anko flinched at the last word Nami said, but Kakashi didn't hear.

"Orochimaru, what do you want?" Anko asked menacingly

"Anko! Stand down. Iruka, take her place," Orochimaru said.

"But, sir- aah!" She gripped her neck.

"I need you out of the way, dear Anko," he said, smiling sickeningly. Anko didn't say anything; she had passed out from pain. Kakashi quickly caught her and passed her to Tamer.

"Take care of her." The girl nodded.

"C-can you take Dark, too?" Nami grunted painfully. Tamer saw her mark for the first time.

"Sensei? Are you okay?"

"Tamer! Shut up and take Dark!" she yelled. Orochimaru laughed.

"Nami, stand up and get Dark," he ordered. Nami's mark turned black. She obeyed. After picking up Dark, she stood by his side.

"Welcome back, my student," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Good to be back sensei," she answered mechanically.

Rohne stood up. "Leave her alone!" she yelled drunkenly.

"There you are." He quickly rushed behind her and bit her on the neck. Dark's bite marks had grown two comma-like markings, just like Nami's bite mark. Rohne's own grew immediately. A moment later, Orochimaru had disappeared in a cloud of smoke, taking Dark, Rohne, and Nami with him.

"Nami!" shouted Kakashi, lunging into the cloud of smoke.

"Nami-sensei!" Tamer exclaimed.

"Goddammit!" shouted Kakashi as he passed through the smoke, jamming his fist on the floor.

Anko moaned as she began to awake.

"Anko," Kakashi said. "Orochimaru took Nami, Rohne, and that demon."

"Oh, crap." She quickly sat up, still feeling dazed.

"You're too weak," said Kakashi firmly. "You stay here and take care of the youngsters."

"Please bring her back," pleaded Anko.

"Kakashi…" interrupted Gai.

Everyone's attention turned to him.

"For once in my life," he said dramatically, "I will be responsible. I will… try my hardest to protect this _beautiful_ young woman."

"Stick a torch up your crap-hole," countered Anko.

"Maybe this once we should trust him…" Kakashi said.

Anko's eyes widened. "You've got to be joking."

"Sorry Anko," said Kakashi as he stood up. "Gai, I'm trusting you for the first time in my life. Don't do anything stupid."

"Yes sir!"

"C'mon, you three," ordered Kakashi.

The room filled with silence as Anko glared at Gai. "I swear. If you do anything stupid, I will rip your head off and watch your body twitch."

"Sounds great!!!"


	3. Chapter 3

Enjoying it??? Ah, well... here is a bit of a confusing scene. As per usual, I refer you to my girlfriend or my reviews for all complaints of its oddness.

* * *

Orochimaru halted on a large branch high in a tree. Nami followed suit.

"Nami, keep heading north until you meet a gray-haired young man named Kabuto. We have followers!" ordered Orochimaru. "Make sure the demon doesn't awake."

Nami's face remained blank. "Yes, sensei," she said as she carried on.

Orochimaru turned towards the approaching ninjas. "Looks like we'll need a distraction." He placed Rohne, whom he had been carrying himself, against the trunk of the tree.

"Ahahah- beer…" Rohne murmured drunkenly as she slept.

"For a powerful half-demon, you're sure stupid." Orochimaru rapidly formed a few handsigns. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!" he exclaimed. In a cloud of smoke, another Nami and Orochimaru appeared. "Run west," he said. The clones nodded and took off.

"Hey, over there!" Gai yelled. Orochimaru smiled evilly as the rustling of the leaves, signaling his pursuit, disappeared into the distance. He turned, Rohne in tow, and caught up with Nami. When he got to her, Nami was standing next to Kabuto. Dark was on the ground, still unconscious. Orochimaru walked over and set Rohne down next to him. He turned to Nami.

"Good job, Nami. You're a lot stronger, now."

Nami's face remained impassive.

"You can sleep now," continued Orochimaru. "You've done your job, for now." In response, Nami sat down next to Dark.

"That girl is very obedient," Kabuto remarked.

"The mark, that's why. She's so unresponsive and _dis_obediant that I designed her mark for total control," he explained.

Kabuto smiled in the darkness. "But she's still not very loyal."

"Not true."

"What?" Kabuto asked.

"When she 'ran away' from me, she never disclosed my hideout. She never told. So, she never betrayed me."

Kabuto said nothing.

"Speechless?"

"Definitely. Umm… If you don't mind me asking…what's your plan?"

Orochimaru evilishly smiled. "I'm going to destroy the leaf village, then the sand. I just need you to get rid of a few…flies."

"But how do you destroy the leaf village?" Kabuto asked.

Orochimaru rolled his eyes at his lackey's stupidity. "In case you haven't noticed, I have three incredibly powerful full- and half-demons at my disposal."

"Oh."

"Dark is the most powerful, since he _is_ a demon. Nami is the most powerful half-demon, then that drunkard I carried, Rohne. I doubt she'll be able to do much damage, but we'll see."

Kabuto was about to fawn over his leader's brilliant, original cough, hack, cough plan, when something disastrous happened:

Dark woke up.

He had been lying next to Nami, and so the first thing he saw was her blank, unresponsive face. The next thing he saw was Orochimaru's twisted, snake-like one.

This, now, was the opportunity for many, many thoughts to flash through Dark's head. However, only one thought made it through, and it stuck in his brain, playing over and over like a broken record. It was… a math problem.

Orochimaru + Nami KILL THEM!!!

All hell broke loose.

His purple eyes turned red and his pupils narrowed. "Oh, no," he whispered. Black waves of darkness arose from the ground and formed around him, soon devouring him.

Orochimaru and Kabuto turned. "No, get Nami, hurry!" Orochimaru ordered. Kabuto dashed over to Nami and quickly swiped her up from the ground. Orochimaru picked up Rohne, who mumbled, "Get it away, get it away!" Suddenly, her eyes flickered open. "No!!" Her grey eyes turned lighter. Orochimaru grunted and dropped her. Then… BAM!

A large explosion echoed through the forest. Flocks of birds took a wing into the sky as the trees they were nesting in were annihilated. In the midst of it all, a large black wolf appeared. His eyes were the color of blood; his coat the color of pure darkness. He had sprouted wings, dark and bird-like. He had two long tails that swirled around uncontrollably.

Alongside him stood a gray, ghost-like wolf, flecks of red-gold fur offsetting the gray. Fierce, stormy gray eyes glinted with sadness and anger.

**Author's Note: I don't understand this next scene, either. Ask Nami-kun.**

Both snarled at each other, Rhone completely under Orochimaru's control, as saliva fell from their mouths.

"Kabuto, release Nami. She'll protect us while we get away!" Orochimaru yelled. Kabuto did as he was told and let her go. Orochimaru made a handsign. "Release."

The teen opened her eyes and snarled. "Hurry, go!" she yelled.

"Good, she's still under my control," Orochimaru whispered. "Nami, transform, now!"

In obedience, Nami began to grow. She knelt down on all fours and transformed into a white tiger with deep, golden eyes. Driger, Nami's demon, took control of her and bared his teeth at the other two. He was taller than the gray wolf, but slightly shorter than the black one, Modaka, who was Dark's demon. Turning his attention to Modaka, Driger readied himself to attack. As he charged for Modaka, the wolf's eyes began to turn red and Driger backed off, commenting, "Can't do that."

"Back off, kitty-cat; we've received orders from Orochimaru to destroy the leaf village. Don't get in our way." Modaka threatened with his dark, icy voice.

"We don't want to hurt you," added Bloodfarrow, Rohne's demon.

Driger stood his ground.

"Have it your way," Modaka said as he disappeared, then reappeared behind Driger. He swiped his large up Driger's side, sending him almost forty feet away, crashing into trees and landing, hard, on the ground.

"Too easy. Now to the village."

"Hey, I'm not done you son of a bitch!" Driger yelled, standing. He dug his claws into the ground and charged at Modaka

"Don't you ever learn?" Modaka taunted. His eyes turned red and Driger froze in his tracks. "I'll just have to rid myself of you now."

Bloodfarrow walked over to Driger's side and whipped her tail under his chin, trying to tease the white tiger demon. "How should we do it?"

Modaka grinned evilly. "Lets cut it in half," he suggested.

"I have a better idea. How about we chase it up a tree?" grinned Bloodfarrow wolfishly.

"No, I want to cut it in half. Besides, Bloodfarrow, you're too childish."

Modaka swished his two razor-sharp tails around. "Goodbye, feline."

Just as he was going to split Driger, a strain came into his head, stopping his attack.

"Why didn't you split it in half?" Rohne asked

"I don't know." Modaka looked at Driger, then another powerful strain came into his head. "Ah, forget about him; my spell should hold the cat for a good ten minutes."

"Yes, time for destruction!" howled Bloodfarrow as she jolted towards the village.

Modaka stayed behind, passing one more glance over the frozen tiger. "_You're lucky_," he sneered, then followed Bloodfarrow.

He had barely gotten three yards down the path when he heard Bloodfarrow, ahead of him, shout.

"Damn it! Get out of the way!"

Modaka skidded to a halt beside her. The rest of the demolished party was sprawled in a skirmish line in front of them.

"I _told _you to stay away from my daughter!" Kakashi yelled at Modaka.

"I don't know who she is. Now get out of my way." Modaka flicked his tails at Kakashi… and fatally split him in half. "I have no time for this nonsense. I'll take the skies."

His large, feathered wings began flapping continuously, sending dust and debris everywhere. "Sorry, Bloodfarrow; you're on your own.

Bloodfarrow licked her lips, growling happily. "My pleasure." She lunged first for Miyoko, jaws snapping at the girl's throat. Miyoko cried out and trust her hands out blindly. She was caught off-guard and was unable to make her own transformation into a wolf. Bashing out at Bloodfarrow, Miyoko stood her ground, but was thrown against a tree and put soundly out of commission.

Bloodfarrow wheeled on Tamer, who looked abosballylutely terrified. The small girl was murmuring under her breath to her own demon.

"Kaid, please calm down. Don't go near the sword, don't go the sword. No, I can handle her. Please, let me do it… barzhuln it, Kaid, I know you want to have fun, but… fine, fine!"

Bloodfarrow smiled. Tamer's demon was an otter. _What the hell kind of damage can a foot-tall rodent do?_

As Bloodfarrow watched, Tamer screwed up her eyes, then – then Bloodfarrow _blinked_, and suddenly Tamer stood before her, transformed…

…kind of.

It was pathetic, really. Small, rounded ears popped out from her head and a thick, plank-like tail appeared. Her nails elongated slightly, and her teeth became small and sharp. Her hands gained a texture like paw-pads. And that was it. Less than frightening.

Suddenly, though, her eyes changed from emerald to black. "Don't kill her…" Tamer murmured, then Kaid took control.

Quick as a lightening flash, Tamer's katana was drawn and she lunged at Bloodfarrow. A grin of grim satifaction played upon her face. She thrust and slashed mercilessly at Bloodfarrow, leaving her powerless to defend. Bloodfarrow fell, unconscious.

Kaid smirked, "I win" written all over his features.

"Annoying runt!" Modaka yelled. He lashed out with his tail. Kaid stood there, frozen, and the tail almost made contact before a flash of silver reflected it.

"Driger?! You're supposed to be frozen!"

"Its been ten minutes," he answered. He leaped up towards Modaka and rammed his head into Modaka's stomach. The demon lost his focus and plunged towards the ground. Driger landed on his feet while Modaka landed on his back. "Now, time to kill you." Driger extended his claws for the final blow, but a surge of brain overcame his mind. _What is Nami trying to tell me?_ Driger began to shrink. _Oh, of course, that must be Dark. _Driger let go as he turned back to Nami. The teen looked at Modaka. "Dark, its me! Not Orochimaru, not anymore."

"Nami!" Modaka looked at her, another wave of pain ripping through his head. "Nami?" he asked. Somehow, Dark's voice was able to break through Modaka's for a moment. "Nami! You have to hit me in the head. Hurry!"

Nami nodded in understanding and ran at Modaka. The demon didn't struggle when she punched him in the head.

"Useless being!" Modaka ranted, now fully in control of himself. "You'll never stop me!" he howled. He lifted his wings as a gust of wind began hissing through the forest. "DIE!" Modaka's razor-sharp feathers began flinging themselves in the air.

Kaid lashed his katana out, blocking the flying feathers. Nami did her best to dodge every one of them, though a couple were able to slash her skin deeply.

"Yet you still don't die!" Modaka began to stand, when his body froze.

"Nami!" Dark's voice broke through again. "Hurry! Bash your head on mine and look me in the eyes as you're doing it. Quickly, before my control of my body runs out!" he ordered.

Nami nodded and charged at Modaka. "Take- THIS!!" she yelled, bashing her head on Modaka's as they both glared into each other's eyes.

Modaka howled in pain, sending Nami flying. She hit the trunk of a tree.

A black sphere formed around Modaka, and, as it lifted away, Dark reappeared, fainting onto the ground.

Kaid gave Tamer back her control and she landed on her knees, panting, then passing out altogether.

Nami exhaled deeply. "…Thank god."

Orochimaru and Kabuto peered over the forest, glaring down at the group. "Well, I guess that didn't work," said Kabuto, adjusting his glasses.

Orochimaru chuckled. "Oh, no, this is just the beginning. I at least go to see the three monsters' powers. _Extraordinary_. We just need to make sure that once they are in their demonic form, they'll stay that way. Then we won't have to worry about their feelings getting the better of them." He smiled.

"How are you going to do that?"

"I have complete control over all three of them. As long as there is a mark on every one of them, I can control their bodies.

As the two ran back to their hideout, Orochimaru began to think horrible thoughts. _I feel like having some fun, _he snickered evilly.

* * *

o0 Ooooh, what will happen next? I'll try to update soon! 


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